Nibbled News

TV Ads Overly Concerned About Body Hair

“There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.”
― Nora Ephron

 

 If you watch any amount of late night television you will eventually begin to notice that many advertisers are beginning to zero in on a major problem that is currently plaguing many, many people these days and apparently growing to pandemic proportions.

What is this threat that is affecting the lives of a great number of men and women these days? Namely,  the absence or the over abundance of body hair. Men and women are actually afraid that they have either too much or not enough of it in all sorts of places on their bodies.

Female viewers are constantly bombarded with a number of gadgets that are guaranteed to rid them of unsightly body hair from their arms, legs, faces and of course that most embarassing of all places the area immediately adjacent to their bikini tan line. 

Lotions, creams, high tech shavers and of course lasers are actively promoted daily to assure women that their concerns are being taken seriously by national advertisers. Informative infomercials employ the services of well known actresses who readily offer their own personal endorsements for the products reliability.

Many of these alleged panaceas even promise that unsightly leg hair and embarassing stubble will be gone forever with just  a few months faithful use of their laser enhanced system. The hair according to the advertisement will be effortlessly removed without the pain and suffering the competitor's hair removal system offers.

Men with thinning hair are also offered quick fixes which will make them look vibrant, sexy, dynamic and desirable. The actors in this commercial sport a full head of hair after supposedly using the restorative process for only thirty days.  They claim that their appearance and their overall confidence has been boosted. Attractive females rave about the new found confidence a full head of hair offers a man.

The commercial warns that this process is not for everyone. I suspect that men will readily shy away from a hair restorative system that requires that an acrylic product resembling human hair be surgically attached to their scalps. The cosmetic affect might be pleasing to the eye but can the invasion on a person's pain threshold and pocketbook justify the expense

A person viewing these "info"-mercials should realize that actors are supposedly portraying real people and events and what is viewed on the television tube is not always the gospel truth. We all want to look our best but we all should take a few minutes to realize that our personal assets are not dependent on an advertisers agenda.

 

 

 

 

 

Turning Viewers Into Entrenched Voyeurs

"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

It seems these days that even  the most  dramatic, respected  and creative  television shows  eventually flaunt and promote unbridled, carefree and unprotected sex as the answer to their series flagging viewer rating.

This usually happens after the third or fourth episode when the viewer numbers have been compiled and the networks and advertisers are eager to boost exposure and sales. Network managers are willing to take a chance on new dramatic content and more receptive to innovative writing.

The Nielsen viewer ratings have been successfully compiled by this time and a television home viewing market selected within which a show's writing team can become "creative" oftentime using gratuitous sex to overcome writing lapses and lulls between commercials.

Two such shows that pop into mind are "King"and "Suits". Both shows are presented on the Showcase network.The plots and the writing  are first rate. Initially the sexual nature of the show's characters was downplayed and the legal angle highlighted. On the premium channel a viewer content warning is flashed between commercial segments indicating "adult content view discretion is advised."

"King" is a tough female cop who has been divorced a number of times and likes her sex hot and heavy. She is nearing forty, wears tight skirts and is desperately trying to get pregnant. She is the head of a crime division in a large metropolitan city. At times she lets her biological clock run her common sense. This aspect may make her appealling to all those female viewers in her particular life situation.

"Suits"  main characters are Harvey Specter" and  "Mike Ross". For Harvey a romp in the hay is an accepted pro bono aspect of the job.  Recently Ross has also been priming the pump for female companionship.  Specter is a talented, conniving, no holds barred successful attorney possessing street smarts and an over active libido. Ross is his protege with a photographic memory whom he is tutoring in the law firm.

Eventually though the main characters in both shows abandon their higher callings and are eager to tear off their clothing, hop into bed with  any available and consenting member of the opposite sex.  This allows three to five minutes of air time to successfully transpire. This on-screen action is supposed to turn the viewing audience into consenting adult voyeurs.

The popularity of both shows has attracted the attention of the non premium channels. The channels do flash the viewer warning adult content notice at the start of the show. So an at home viewer expects some adult content not out-and-out orgy action. What does a parent do when their children are in the same room with them while they are watching the juicier segments?

In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, herpes, genital warts, AIDs and the like dramatic televison shows should offer the viewing public richer content and more thought provoking themes and try not to merely pander the easily gratuitous side of life .

If this is an impossible task then at least have the main characters enage in protected sex before they dazzle the viewer with their bedroom prowess.

 

Sometimes Simple Things Become Confusing

Television commercials often tend to trivialize those things in life that start off simple yet in reality offer inherent challenges all their own.

The actors in the commercial effectively setup a situation in which the products are easy to use --- at times so deceptively simple a child can use them effectively.

In reality however there may be hidden product considerations and design concerns that the advertisers and product promoters may have neglected to consider in their overall commercial presentation.

Whenever an advertiser overlooks a product's potential to frustrate customers they  are effectively closing the door on increased sales and product acceptance.

My major complaint involves Pillsbury Crescent rolls and the almost impossible way the dough inside the container refuses to exit the carton no matter how hard a person tries to coax, cajole, pry and eventually tear apart the cardboard wrapping.

I have tried on several occasions to bake the crescent rolls and sample them for myself. The commercials show the ease with which the package opens when gently and lightly tapped on the edge of a kitchen cabinet top. The dough almost leaps from the cardboard enclosure.

Many times in the past few months I have banged the very life out of the container and at no time did the dough ever vacate the packaging willingly.  The cardboard is resistant to any and all attempts to split it apart and empty it of its doughy contents.

Out of frustration I eventually throw away the unopened container and abandon all hope of ever baking the rolls for myself. Although I fervently vow to never, ever purchase another crescent roll package ever again my personal feelings do mellow over time and I find myself at the grocer's freezer display purchasing the uncooperative dough.

A number of web sites claim that the dough is extremely versatile to use and offer numerous tasty recipes praising the dough as a perfect base of operation. At no time do any of the sites demonstrate how to effectively open the container and remove the moist dough from its cardboard packaging.

I harbor no ill will against the Pillsbury Corporation and the many fine products they offer consumers. I only wish they would redesign the crecent roll packaging so that more folks like myself could effectively remove the soft dough , place it in the oven, bake it and eventually sample the rolls without the initial frustration.

 

 

 

Beer Ad Explores Our Fears and Prejudices

So let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.   - Franklin D. Rooseveltt

 

 

For years beer commercials have depicted scantily clad young vixens actively promoting , endorsing and enjoying a glass of their favorite bubbly brew. The message appealed to the male beer drinker in the family who wanted to drink as many brewskies as he could and still maintain a svelte manly physique.

The commercials always follow the traditional story line about brewing systems, best ingredients used to make the beer and unequaled taste and appeal. Of course there are also the contests involving meeting the hottest models, unparalleled prize offers and a myriad of other such bonuses.

The advertising team at Carlsberg brewery has recently adopted a new game plan regarding their beer drinking promotions. In essence the advertisement is part of an overall gorilla campaign by the company to snare more of the beer drinking market. The ad was not filmed in an elaborate studio. The advertiser did not use actors but rather real people who were not clued into the Candid Camera style of realism used.

The overall atmosphere in the scene was meant to be intimidating. The seating arrangement in the theater was contrived and developed so that there are only two seats remaining in the crowded room.

As you watch the video ask yourself what would you do  if you found yourself in such a situation. Would you make your way to the available seat or would you wimp out and leave the theater in fear and dread.

This is the first in a series of such creative ads to not only promote a product but also to make the viewing public a bit more aware of their fears, phobias and prejudices.

All advertisers should exhibit a bit more creativity in their work and not always follow a boring pro forma approach to hawk their wares. Bravo Carlsberg!

　

　

　

Let's Prosecute The N.H.L.'s On Ice Hit Men

Donald Stewart "Grapes" Cherry (commonly referred to as Don Cherry) (born February 5, 1934) is a Canadian ice hockey commentator for CBC Television.  His comments always seem to land him in hot water. They are always controversial and delivered off the cuff. He believes what he spouts off as being truthful.

Contrary to what Mr. Cherry may openly profess to his cadre of adoring NHL hockey fans and devotees I think it is high time that concerned parents, ambitious coaching staffs, advertising sponsors and of course the general public throw down the kid gloves and take a firm stand against on ice hockey hooliganism and violence.

Many folks in the business believe that hockey is the smartest game in the world wherein players will develop a spatial sense of playing the game...an ability enabling them to mentally visualize a play scenario in their minds, weigh all the pros and the cons of a manoeuver and then flawlessly execute a series of strategies which will lead their team to a victory. 

But the flaw in this logic rests with the fact that such intuitive players are usually selected as canon fodder by unscrupulous coaches who unleash their biggest and meanest on ice goons to harass, harangue, distract and if necessary physically bring down these talented and above average hockey players. 

The mindset of the on ice henchman centers itself on preventing a goal from being scored on his team. Many penalty boxes are continually filled throughout the active hockey season with such unimaginatiave bullies who have performed their service on ice and relish in the fact that their lack of essential playing skill has earned them reputations as hitmen, bullies and henchmen.

Wayne Gretzky, touted as being a fine edge skater, exemplified that extreme example of the kind of player that could forsee the outcomes of plays before they actually happened. Sidney Crosby also exhibited this style of on ice hockey intelligence that could literally change the outcome of a game. His innate skill was insight into the mechanics of a situation and not necessarily athletic prowess.

Unfortunately not all aspiring hockey greats ever get the chance to develop this common , intuitive skill. Gretzky when he played with the Edmonton Oilers had a hand picked , well paid crew of cronnies on the ice to protect, defend and discourage any opposing team's thugs from harming or distracting the Great One's concentration.

Time in the penalty box, game suspensions and nominal fines do not effectively discourage more aggressive players from using more physical means to stop an opponent players from scoring.

It is high time that million dollar fines and extended periods of incarceration behind bars also be used to bring into line the more violent and unruly maverick players out there.

The juvenile antics of these high profiled hitmen will eventually cost the game itself in terms of debilitating concussions, lost advertising revenue, a potentially diminished revenue in overall ticket sales and fan loyalty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trading In Your Gold For Cold Hard Cash?

"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok."   ---  Shaquille O'Neal (humorous quotes)

The price of gold has been skyrocketing almost daily soaring high into the uncertain financial stratophere.

Television commercials constantly beg us to mail in our unwanted gold items to them in exchange for instant cash.

As you watch the persuasive infomercials aimed at separating you from your gold you begin to suddenly realize that you do have a number of gold items you don't need anymore and would like to convert your sentimental keepsakes into something a bit more commercially spendable.

Well-known money lending outlets as well as gold exchange kiosks in many malls constantly bombard us with their own gold exchange mantras. Is the gold exchange process as easy and as painless as the ads suggest or is there more that the general public should be aware of before entering the gold exchange transaction?

I recently visited five individual outlets of  national money lending , payday loan companies trying to separate the advertising hype from the reality of doing business with them. The site locations and the people running the outlet determined the ease or the overall difficulty  with which any transacting could be accomplished.

It was mandatory that a potential customer be a registered member with the lending company. I told them I was not a member of their company but was merely seeking information about the process. That being said I entered the sites and inquired about their gold exchange policies, practices and overall waiting times.

The outlets I visited were staffed by young female customer service representatives (C.S.R.S). The women in four of the money stores were under 25 years of age. In one store the woman was closer to 40 years of age. She exhibited the more experienced and reserved attitude towards me and my inquiries.

They all appeared to be competent at performing their jobs. All were friendly and polite.  A potential customer was immediately welcomed at the door. A warm, friendly smile greeted you at the service desk and good eye contact made you feel important as a potential client.

I asked them what I needed to do to exchange my gold for cash. I received brochures, verbal explanations and pamphlets explaining the process to me. It was a virtual smorgasbord of information for me to digest.

All but one outlet told me that the evaluation process would take a few hours to process. The CSR would have to evaluate the items brought in , assess their overall exchange value and then present me with a dollar amount based on their appraisals. This sounded reasonable to me and fell in line with the information extolled by the television commercials.

The older female C.S.R.  informed me point blank  that I would need the original receipts for any and all gold items I brought in for appraisal. I told her that many people want to exchange gold items for which they have no receipts. Items such as gold family heirlooms, a grandmother's wedding ring or other such items might not have the proper paper work of authenticity.

When I finished relaying this fact of life to her she told me matter of factly that at her store the no receipt - no sale policy was in effect. She added that even registered members were not exempt from this rule. To her this policy was a hard and fast rule of doing business.

The other stores I visited did not present such a tough as nails policy towards customers who brought in their gold for sale and exchange. They did not know they had to enforce such a policy. Their more flexible policy might entice more clients to their outlet than the other tough line policy store would.

If you are going to exchange your unwanted gold items for cash it is best if you shop around, make some telephone calls to a number of these outlets and let the overall personality of the onsite C.S.R. guide you and direct your eventual course of action.

Try to realize that the advertising hype may be radically different from the type of reception you will receive at these gold exchange outlets. Many enticing late night commercials seem to radically pale in the light of day when a person actually visits these stores and discovers that the hype and reality are worlds apart.

  

Demote Sports Heroes To Entertainer Status

"People say athletes should be role models. I never looked up to any athlete, did you? I liked them. I didn't copy them. Did you ever listen to one of those guys talk? Would you want your kid to turn out like that?" --   George Carlin.

Autumn is the most fitting time of the year when concerned parents should seriously consider taking off the kid gloves and put the role of professional athletics in its proper place in the total scheme of things especially their children's lives.

Athletes are merely  high priced entertainers meant to help the majority of society find a means of enjoying a momentary escape from their daily stress filled lives.

Lessening the total awe and admiration afforded many athletes would permit our children to not have to needlessly struggle and strain during their formative years to notch their place in a sport hierarchy saturated primarily by large egos, drug abuse, chronic alcoholism and personal despair.

As a functioning group in our culture many athletes are highly skilled, over paid trained professionals whose sole purpose in reality is to provide moments of excitement, daring do and escapist fantasy for a bored and demanding public.

The majority of the unathletic publicly elevate the social status of these folks to hero worship dimensions. This group would necessarily include out of shape high school and university coaches bent on making a name for themselves and their schools in the press. Afterall, a certain tradition and inter collegiate rivalry must be maintained.

The autumn is also the time of year when the negative aspect of such hero worship does more harm than good for youngsters returning to the classroom setting. Overly zealous coaches begin drilling into their young charges the importance of winning at any cost.

Children are methodically conditioned to believe that their personal worth in society is linked directly to their performance on the playing field. Coaches relentlessly chide, cajole and eventually ostracise youngsters who do not give 100 per cent of themselves to the sport they are pursuing.

The psychological pressure increases dramatically if the high school student is attending an institution known for its football or basketball prowess and successes. The learning years in this type of pressure filled scenario morph into the yearning years --- students dread not so much for the learning aspect but rather the constant peer pressure to perform .

From what a person can gather from the media reports many higher priced athletes are dysfunctional personality types whose lives are mottled with the following social stigma: chronic mood swings; drug addiction, difficulty maintaing close interpersonal relationships; alcohol addiction and of course, overly inflated egos.

A significant number of these alleged heroes have spent the past off season summer months in a number of interesting places: a jail cell serving out their time for a D.U.I conviction; rehab facility for a drug addiction; family counselling program to smooth over their strained at home life setting; psychological counseling for a sport related incident involving a major head trauma.

Our heroes are afterall only human and subject to the same stresses and temptations that we all are subject to in life. It is how they handle the challenges they face that is important. Perhaps our heroes actually believe their own press reports and start to see themselves as people above reproach.

It is high time to reconsider our generally accepted notions of heroes and of course villains. Do we want our children to emulate these folks to such a degree that they actually become like them and suffer their fate?

This school year before you purchase your son's first athletic support or your daughter's gym outfit have a heart to heart chat with them. Try to ensure that the sport they have chosen to pursue is something they want and not something they believe you want them to pursue.

 

Morticians and Makeup Artists Share Goal

Morticians and professional makeup artists share a common goal: deception. The former attempt to rekindle a momentary  but memorable instance of animation and vigor in their charges for  grieving family and friends. The latter hope to spruce up and add more life to their client's waning public personna.

The professional makeup artist's overall mission in life might entail the following commitments:

1. convert the haggard and puffy-eyed actor into a charming , offscreen hearththrob. 
2. remold the insecure, drug addicted female rockstar into a beloved diva free of any telltale cosmetic defects.
3. transform the ailing politician into a man with a slow and deliberate personal public image.

These days it seems that the much vaunted Hollywood makeup artist and the dreaded funeral mortician have joined forces in their desire to produce a specific outcome for their clientel: normalcy , vibrancy and healthy glows where no such circumstances exist.

Broadcast personalities, politicians , models , rock stars and movie idols all willingly submit to the expertise and seemingly magical powders and lotions the makeup artist offers them.

These allegedly fragile personality types hope the makeup artist will  infuse something wonderful into their lives and transform them into someone larger than life.

The public demands a fresh, animated and healthy glow from their icons. The makeup artist was therefore invented to generate such a healthful aura for these folks. Thus the use and overuse of the rouges, pancake makeup and eye liner on many of your favorite media personalities.

Terminally ill politicians, burnt out movie stars and drug dependent rock stars all have their selected entourage of P.R. specialists, makeup artists and spin doctors ready to redirect and if necessary quash any and all negative press or rumors inadvertently leaked to a gossip hungry public.

Case in point.   A well-known politician recently won a leadership position for himself and an influential opposition role for his parrty after waging a long and fatiguing campaign.

Jack was described as a fighter, a man representing the little guy in the scheme of things. A tireless champion for the people. He campaigned long and hard and kept his platform honest, to the point and factual.

His press kit pictures and televised debates always showed him as a healthy and dynamic individual ready to battle things out for his constituents.

He always smiled appropriately for the cameras and his skin glowed with a special radiance and allure. His efforts and public facade of vigor and energy won him the power he sought. His supporters rallied his election success.

Jack recently announced that his previous bout with prostate cancer , though in remission for the past five years, has created certain health problems for him. He told his supporters and the press he would be temporarily stepping down from political office and that a party associate would be handling his leadership role.

His overly powdered media face now looks sallow and wan. His eyes lugubrious and vacant. To the average television viewer he appears to be a walking cadaver biding his time and smiling in a half hearted manner.

In this instance the truth about his overall health and medical condition should have outweighed the blarney his press cadre was promoting. His actions have caused many of his devoted constituents to seriously question the man's honesty and integrity.

His entourage of public relations personnel and partry gophers should have realized that this type of double dealing would not sit well with a majority of voters.

He could have vastly improved his image by using the truth and being honest with himself and his party. Pancake makeup can only conceal so many human flaws for so long.

 

Enzyte Bob Scores High At Airport Scanners

Summer is the time of the year when an increasing number of travellers consider flying to both exotic and domestic destinations. It's the time  for relaxation and travel to new and exciting places.

A majority of these folks are prepared for the expected flight delays, cancellations, long lineups and an assortment of other airport glitches which will make their waiting time unbearable and nerve wracking.

What they dread and cannot reconcile themselves with is the thought of airport security personnel freely groping and patting down the private parts of their bodies.

This "intimate patdown" as it so tenderly referred to in the trade papers has caused more first time travellers and seasoned ones as well to cancel any and all flight plans they may have considered.

The resulting flying phobia and hesitation is based on the public's sense of propriety, self consciousness and of course the embarassment --- the prospect of being groped by strangers in a public setting is not really that exciting a prospect.

The creative advertising team at Enzyte, a male enhancement product, realizing this public fear of flying , has created an opportunity for their product mascot Bob to demonstrate that passengers can and should overcome their fear of flying and not be intimidated by airport ruffians.

 The advertising skit shows a smiling Bob getting ready to be scanned, probed and harassed by a supposedly grumpy and jaded airport security team. As he steps on the metal detector the camera shot zooms in on his feet just as his jockey shorts land down at his ankles.

As he is about to be scanned by a hand held scanner the camera pans back to Bob's face. He is beaning a very wide and obvious smile...among other things. The camera then shows the faces of the security team, stewardesses, pilots and an assortment of other airport personnel smiling with obvious approval.

The ad segment could be considered off color. However the often time finicky and paranoid security personnel in the ad show their unanimous approval that Bob is not a security threat and that the contents of his under wear if not explosive but could produce fireworks under the right circumstances. Wink. Wink.

From a sociological perspective the ad is offering a wakeup call to all airport travellers who have thus far been unfairly intimidated or targeted by badly trained or ill informed security staff.

The concept of the ad is no more outlandish than the actual real life situation in which a 94-year-old grandmother was asked to lower and remove her undergarment because the security agent detected a foreign and questionable object in her sanitary diaper. Perhaps it was an undigested tidbit of badly prepared airline cuisine.

The real life horror stories of airport security infractions and abuses grows on a daily basis. So too does the public angst increase about using air travel as a means of transportation.

It's up to advertisers and creative marketing companies to take as aggressive a stance on this topic as the people at Enzyte have assumed. It is time to inject a healthy amount of humor and surprise into those areas of life which have been colored by dread, fear and irrationality.

 

The Comedic Impulse Eludes Drew Carey

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue. -----   Woody Allen

Drew Carey, the current host of The Price is Right, is definitely a people person who enjoys interacting with his live studio audience and relishes in his own celebrity and acquired fame. He is obviously comfortable and at home in such an interactive environment.

His seemingly innate inability however to create comedy content which will excite, enthuse, entertain and captivate his audiences is apparent to anyone who takes the time to watch only a few minutes of Carey's new TV show , Improv-A-Ganza,  which is carried on the cable networks game show station.

One wonders why the network executives placed this genre of comedy show on the game show network. Perhaps this was a Freudian slip on their part -- they wanted to take a gamble on an offering lacking any proven track record of performance and quality.

The talented comedians of past years, the greats who appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show, exuded charisma , charm and excitingly controversial material. They were able to immediately form a bond with their audiences and the combination was explosive. In those bygone days ladies and gentlemen that  was called entertainment.

Carey's motley crew of comedians rely mostly it seems on interacting with an audience who probably have had a bit too much to drink and will easily laugh at anything offered to them under the label "comedy".

Drew claims that hecklers upset many comedy routines because the material is boring and the heckler believes he is adding a bit of zip to the skit. Unfortunately any heckler worth his salt would not ruin his reputation by interrupting Carey's team of misdirected miscreants as they flounder about on stage pandering for applause.

If you enjoyed the frivolous antics of fellow students in grade five then this show is definitely for you. The routines are tired, not very comedic and at times insult an audience's intelligence.

Drew should have kept his day job and not tried to overextend the boundaries of  his charisma and comedic talent abilities. In this sad situation the price was not right for Drew.