Nibbled News

Crafty Lawyer Burnt For False Arson Claim

 "I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance."  ---   Anon.

 

Sometimes a person may be too smart for their own good. The following real life situation took place in Charlotte North Carolina and has been labelled as being the "best lawyer/insurance story of the year, decade and possibly the century". 

An allegedly shrewd and experienced lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then  insured them against , among other things, loss due to fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires".

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and won.

 

Delivering his ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

 

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

 

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 individual counts of arson.

 

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won first place in last year's Criminal Lawyers' Award Contest.

 

Sales Receipts -- Effective Feedback Tools

" If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin , is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony." -- George Carlin.

Consumers often bemoan the fact that no one ever listens to or respects their concerns and complaints. Retailers according to these folks are out for just one thing: profit and the customer be damned.

In many situations there are no feedback mechanisms by which a customer can either complain about or praise the quality of the service or product they received from a particular retailer.

Many businesses today now offer customers the chance to either praise or critique the quality of service they received at their place of business. Astute consumers will notice that their receipt now includes a website address to which customers with a gripe or concern can express themselves and hopefully have their opinions heard, appreciated and ultimately acted upon.

The one irony in this scenario lies in the fact that not many consumers will visit the company website and express their concerns. They are either not reading their receipts fully or are dismissing the site as patronizing and not worth their while visiting.

Bookstores, large chain grocery stores, computer retailers, pharmacies and national retailers offer cash rewards and other incentives to those folks who will visit their site and tell them about their in store experiences. Many folks still resist the temptation to visit the site no matter how appealing the incentive offered.

Three weeks ago Sarah , a single mother with three young children, is one such person who often hesitated to express herself no matter how insistently her friends and family encouraged her to do so. She is a working mother and as such tries to maximize the dollar return she receives for money spent.

She had purchased a package of sweet and sour spare ribs she planned to cook for her family and inlaws. The top layer of the platic wrapped container displayed two ideal cuts of the ribs. The package offered a four dollar discount and she gladly purchased the meat.

When she opened the package at home she discovered that she had been scammed. The second layer of the ribs was laden with fat and the quality of the meat not top grade as she had expected it would be. She felt betrayed and ripped off by her favorite grocery store. She has been shopping there for many years and her customer club card describes her as being an "elite" customer.

She then decided to visit the grocery chain's online website site and express her dismay and outrage that the meat department would engage in such deceptive marketing practices. The in house meat department had processed the meat and labelled the meat as the store's own product. There were no middle men involved in the preparation of the ribs.

She expressed her dismay and opinions freely, frankly and forthrightly. She said it helped her to vent all the negative feelings she had against the store. At the time she was doubtful that the large national grocery chain would either appreciate or act upon her comments and critiques.

Recently she received a letter of apology from the store's regional manager in charge of customer relations. The letter heartily apologized for the poor quality of the meat she received. She was also offered a one hundred dollar gift certificate from the store and the private telephone number of the store's regional office should she have any other concerns or critiques.

In her opinion the letter was sincere and not merely patronizing. The manager hoped that this negative experience would not dissuade her from continuing her long term relationship with the outlet. He told her that she was a valued customer of the store. The incident would be investigated and the involved parties spoken to and handled.

Sarah was grateful that she took action and visited the site. She encourages other folks to also visit similar sites and offer their experiences and opinions in this public forum. She added that she will now scan all future receipts for web site addresses and will visit them if she experiences similar situations in the future.

People living on fixed incomes, retirees, widows , students and others know the importance of getting value for their dollars. They also must realize that they need to make their voices heard by way of these company web sites.

To stoically suffer in silence or gripe your dismay to family and friends is no longer acceptable in today's fast paced, consumer oriented world.

Give Up My Password To My Boss -- No Way!

"A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy." --Edward P. Morgan

 Many folks who maintain social networking sites are being asked by their bosses to supply them with their personal password so that their online activity can be monitored for potential security and breach of corporate protocol  concerns.

While they privately make light of the fact that this demand is an invasion of their privacy and personal space a great many employees begrudgingly provide their demanding employers with the requested password to their Facebook account.

Suddenly their perfect job has become tainted by the fact that they must unwillingly relinquish their guarded password to their boss. The economics of the situation persuades many of these employees to succumb to the demand of the job and of course their continuing employment.

Julie is one such employee who has been a marketing researcher for the past five years. She works in an office environment and communicates with clients via her Facebook site. She manages her site when she is at work and states that she uses it for business promotions, conferencing and client updating.

She realizes that her employer is providing the net connection for her to use and as such has the right to ask her for her password. She resents the fact that a condition of her continuing employment with the firm rests on her compliance with the password ruling.

Concerned friends and colleagues advise her to comply but also suggest that she either create a new Facebook account for her own private use or else change the password a month after she reveals it to her employer.

A number of people I chatted with resented the outright imposition on their privacy. They stated that their employer really had no right to invade in their private space especially if their private thoughts and concerns revealed online were not related to their jobs.

Doug, a radio DJ , said "no way Jose!" would he ever comply with such a demand by his employer. His connection to his listeners was enhanced by his Facebook persona and he emphasized the fact that his listeners might not communicate as freely with him if they suspected third or even fourth parties were monitoring them.

Facebook does provide a forum for many folks to not only express their views to the world but also at times an ideal meeting place to meet new friends, business associates and reconnect family members separated by great distances.

It also offers unscrupulous employers the opportunity to not only intimidate their employees with termination but also a private view into the non business lives of their personnel. 

 It may be wise and economically prudent to maintain two such social media accounts: one to appease the demands of your boss and a second , more private one in which your non work related personality and networking connections are private and secure from your company's probing eyes.

A Bad Day For A Birthday - February 29th

"People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will  readily admit to being awkward. "I'm such a klutz!" But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.'  ---   George Carlin

 

Folks born today, February 29, enter the world plagued with a social handicap. They face the difficult decision of determining exactly when they will celebrate their birthdays with friends and family. It helps if you were born with a sense of humor.

The slap on the backside the doctor gave them in the delivery room on that special recorded day of their entry into the world is easily forgotten. The actual date of their birth is a social reality that they must come to grips with and eventually accept. 

Many accept their fate stoically and with a somewhat reserved sense of humor. Others feel that fiendish calendar creators and mathematicians have doomed them to a lifestyle as carefree as Peter Pan's -- never growing old too quickly.

A friend of mine Craig celebrates his birthday today. He admits that he is 64 years old. The candles on the top of his cake belie the fact. His wife accomodates his wishes and carefully places 16 candles on his homemade cake. It's his sweet sixteen party and  he can easily blow out the candles with one deeply inhaled breath. 

Craig and a number of other folks he has met online share this birthday dilemma.  They have not as yet formed a local support group to celebrate their uniqueness but they do send online birthday cards to one another as freely and as easily as the rest of us do.

Being born on the last day of February might technically excuse a person from not really having to act their age. Biologically, these folks mature at the same rate as the rest of humanity. The only difference is the acutal chronological registering of their birthdate. What do you do when you have to wait four years to enjoy a slice of birthday cake and ice cream?

It would be a nice gesture if greeting card companies would create a special card noting that the recipient is a unique individual who just happened to be born on an unusual date. It's tough buying a regular card for a person who has recently turned eighty but can only celebrate the day every four years.

Happy birthday wishes to all those celebrating today!

Four Cent Phone Bill Hilarious But True

"Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it. It is what the client or customer gets out of it."   -----    PETER DRUCKER

 

I used to think that  those humorous television commercials which jokingly insinuate that many telephone providers are actually money-hungry charlatans whose sole purpose in life is to extract as much money as is humanly possible from their long term, contract obligated customers were merely stretching the truth in an orchestrated manner. Now, however,  I tend to whole heartedly agree with their overall accusations.

I recently received a long distance telephone charge of four cents from my former service provider. The total length  of the call was rated as being one minute but that duration of time was enough to generate the charge. It was a call made on December 31 to a family member who was not at home at the time. Their answering machine had intercepted the call. 

I had signed up for a new service provider effective January  2012. The shabby service offered by my former telephone service did not warrant me to continue paying its exorbitant monthly rate. The company had also offered internet and televison service as well. I had been on a one year trail contract. The total package expired the last day of 2011.

In January I received what I thought was the final bill from the former provider and sent in my payment by the 15th of the month. This week I received a letter from the phone company informing me that I owed the grand total of four cents for services rendered. The letter indicated that if I chose to ignore paying the outstanding amount I would be charged a $25 administrative fee.

I was shocked that they would waste so much time, effort , paper and administrative effort to ferret out the four cent charge. I wondered how I was going to pay this charge: cash, cheque, credit card charge or visit my bank and have them process the amount.

A telephone call to my former service provider was not that enlightening. The female associate I spoke with explained to me the options by which I could settle this outstanding amount. She recommended that I settle the account by making a one time Visa payment over the phone at this time. This she suggested would be the easiest way to settle up. I thought easy for who me or the phone company.

I decided a few days later to go to the bank, have the charge taken from my account and settle the debt that way. The female bank teller was amused that this phone company would pursue such a triffling amount in such a costly and aggressive manner. 

The contract I had signed with the former service provider offered quality service at an affordable price. But the unreliable service forced me to contact their customer support staff once a month to correct faulty and flagging internet and television reception.

I had been with this telephone company for the past 25 years and had never had a late fee charged to my account. This past year has opened my eyes to the fact that even the high profile telephone service providers need to perform a bit of rethink and reevaluation of the way they service and retain customers.

TV Ads Overly Concerned About Body Hair

“There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.”
― Nora Ephron

 

 If you watch any amount of late night television you will eventually begin to notice that many advertisers are beginning to zero in on a major problem that is currently plaguing many, many people these days and apparently growing to pandemic proportions.

What is this threat that is affecting the lives of a great number of men and women these days? Namely,  the absence or the over abundance of body hair. Men and women are actually afraid that they have either too much or not enough of it in all sorts of places on their bodies.

Female viewers are constantly bombarded with a number of gadgets that are guaranteed to rid them of unsightly body hair from their arms, legs, faces and of course that most embarassing of all places the area immediately adjacent to their bikini tan line. 

Lotions, creams, high tech shavers and of course lasers are actively promoted daily to assure women that their concerns are being taken seriously by national advertisers. Informative infomercials employ the services of well known actresses who readily offer their own personal endorsements for the products reliability.

Many of these alleged panaceas even promise that unsightly leg hair and embarassing stubble will be gone forever with just  a few months faithful use of their laser enhanced system. The hair according to the advertisement will be effortlessly removed without the pain and suffering the competitor's hair removal system offers.

Men with thinning hair are also offered quick fixes which will make them look vibrant, sexy, dynamic and desirable. The actors in this commercial sport a full head of hair after supposedly using the restorative process for only thirty days.  They claim that their appearance and their overall confidence has been boosted. Attractive females rave about the new found confidence a full head of hair offers a man.

The commercial warns that this process is not for everyone. I suspect that men will readily shy away from a hair restorative system that requires that an acrylic product resembling human hair be surgically attached to their scalps. The cosmetic affect might be pleasing to the eye but can the invasion on a person's pain threshold and pocketbook justify the expense

A person viewing these "info"-mercials should realize that actors are supposedly portraying real people and events and what is viewed on the television tube is not always the gospel truth. We all want to look our best but we all should take a few minutes to realize that our personal assets are not dependent on an advertisers agenda.

 

 

 

 

 

Shoddy Tech Support Plagues Giantmatrix

 

Online software companies promise potential customers that their product is second to none and that their product 's technical support team will go out of its way to assist you should you experience problems with their products.

One company whose after sale technical support is sorely lacking is Giantmatrix (www.giantmatrix.com) whose product "Anti Tracks" offers consumers hours of software frustration, little or no product support and of course questionable marketing strategies.

In November of 2011 I purchased an  online version of Anti Tracks from Avangate the seller of the software. I received an email notification that once my order was confirmed I would receive the payment receipt and "detailed product licensing information" in separate emails.

The followup email I received informed me that I should register my product at the Avangate website (www.avangate.com) so that I would be able to view my order details, gain access to my online shopping history and "re-download licence keys/codes".

An email indicated the download site to obtain the program. No product codes were ever included with the emails. At the time I thought nothing of that fact and installed the program. That was my first major mistake.

The program loaded successfully and promised to protect my identity and personal information online. After I initiated the program two things happened which I did not expect:

1.  I was unable to access any website due to server failure.
2.  My computer crashed and I had to do a computer restore.

I had to perform a computer restore two more times after the initial software conflict. I had downloaded a copy of the program and placed it on a DVD for safekeeping. When I installed this copy the computer once again locked up. An onscreen error message informed me of an error occurring because a product cover page was missing.

I sent an email to the customer support team and told them my situation. I also told them that I had not received the licence keys or special codes in any email from them. I requested the product codes to unlock the product.

I received a short email telling me to go to another website and download another version of the program. No product codes were included at this time but the name of the program was listed a "Anti Tracks - complete version". I still do not know what that means.

Naively I followed their instruction, downloaded the program and hoped for the best. Again my web browsers were unable to access the Internet due to server errors. Two more times the program crashed my computer due to software complications.

I again contacted customer support and have  been waiting now for a reply for about two weeks. Apparently a customer has to purchase "download protection" from the company to avoid such frustrating situations. A reputable company should have to resort to this type of after sale customer extortion to ensure that their product will continue to function as promised.

 In the past week or so I wrote to the sales department at Avangate asking for a refund for the product. I also sent an email to Gianmatrix explaining my frustration with both their problem plagued product and shoddy technical support.

From this experience I have learned not to trust an online software company who requests that a customer purchase "download insurance portection" to guarantee them the right to have future downloads should their product fail to perform. 

This is definitely a situation of buyer beware. The best policy is to do your online research about those companies who toot their own product horns a little too briskly. 

Turning Viewers Into Entrenched Voyeurs

"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

It seems these days that even  the most  dramatic, respected  and creative  television shows  eventually flaunt and promote unbridled, carefree and unprotected sex as the answer to their series flagging viewer rating.

This usually happens after the third or fourth episode when the viewer numbers have been compiled and the networks and advertisers are eager to boost exposure and sales. Network managers are willing to take a chance on new dramatic content and more receptive to innovative writing.

The Nielsen viewer ratings have been successfully compiled by this time and a television home viewing market selected within which a show's writing team can become "creative" oftentime using gratuitous sex to overcome writing lapses and lulls between commercials.

Two such shows that pop into mind are "King"and "Suits". Both shows are presented on the Showcase network.The plots and the writing  are first rate. Initially the sexual nature of the show's characters was downplayed and the legal angle highlighted. On the premium channel a viewer content warning is flashed between commercial segments indicating "adult content view discretion is advised."

"King" is a tough female cop who has been divorced a number of times and likes her sex hot and heavy. She is nearing forty, wears tight skirts and is desperately trying to get pregnant. She is the head of a crime division in a large metropolitan city. At times she lets her biological clock run her common sense. This aspect may make her appealling to all those female viewers in her particular life situation.

"Suits"  main characters are Harvey Specter" and  "Mike Ross". For Harvey a romp in the hay is an accepted pro bono aspect of the job.  Recently Ross has also been priming the pump for female companionship.  Specter is a talented, conniving, no holds barred successful attorney possessing street smarts and an over active libido. Ross is his protege with a photographic memory whom he is tutoring in the law firm.

Eventually though the main characters in both shows abandon their higher callings and are eager to tear off their clothing, hop into bed with  any available and consenting member of the opposite sex.  This allows three to five minutes of air time to successfully transpire. This on-screen action is supposed to turn the viewing audience into consenting adult voyeurs.

The popularity of both shows has attracted the attention of the non premium channels. The channels do flash the viewer warning adult content notice at the start of the show. So an at home viewer expects some adult content not out-and-out orgy action. What does a parent do when their children are in the same room with them while they are watching the juicier segments?

In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, herpes, genital warts, AIDs and the like dramatic televison shows should offer the viewing public richer content and more thought provoking themes and try not to merely pander the easily gratuitous side of life .

If this is an impossible task then at least have the main characters enage in protected sex before they dazzle the viewer with their bedroom prowess.

 

Sometimes Simple Things Become Confusing

Television commercials often tend to trivialize those things in life that start off simple yet in reality offer inherent challenges all their own.

The actors in the commercial effectively setup a situation in which the products are easy to use --- at times so deceptively simple a child can use them effectively.

In reality however there may be hidden product considerations and design concerns that the advertisers and product promoters may have neglected to consider in their overall commercial presentation.

Whenever an advertiser overlooks a product's potential to frustrate customers they  are effectively closing the door on increased sales and product acceptance.

My major complaint involves Pillsbury Crescent rolls and the almost impossible way the dough inside the container refuses to exit the carton no matter how hard a person tries to coax, cajole, pry and eventually tear apart the cardboard wrapping.

I have tried on several occasions to bake the crescent rolls and sample them for myself. The commercials show the ease with which the package opens when gently and lightly tapped on the edge of a kitchen cabinet top. The dough almost leaps from the cardboard enclosure.

Many times in the past few months I have banged the very life out of the container and at no time did the dough ever vacate the packaging willingly.  The cardboard is resistant to any and all attempts to split it apart and empty it of its doughy contents.

Out of frustration I eventually throw away the unopened container and abandon all hope of ever baking the rolls for myself. Although I fervently vow to never, ever purchase another crescent roll package ever again my personal feelings do mellow over time and I find myself at the grocer's freezer display purchasing the uncooperative dough.

A number of web sites claim that the dough is extremely versatile to use and offer numerous tasty recipes praising the dough as a perfect base of operation. At no time do any of the sites demonstrate how to effectively open the container and remove the moist dough from its cardboard packaging.

I harbor no ill will against the Pillsbury Corporation and the many fine products they offer consumers. I only wish they would redesign the crecent roll packaging so that more folks like myself could effectively remove the soft dough , place it in the oven, bake it and eventually sample the rolls without the initial frustration.

 

 

 

Beer Ad Explores Our Fears and Prejudices

So let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.   - Franklin D. Rooseveltt

 

 

For years beer commercials have depicted scantily clad young vixens actively promoting , endorsing and enjoying a glass of their favorite bubbly brew. The message appealed to the male beer drinker in the family who wanted to drink as many brewskies as he could and still maintain a svelte manly physique.

The commercials always follow the traditional story line about brewing systems, best ingredients used to make the beer and unequaled taste and appeal. Of course there are also the contests involving meeting the hottest models, unparalleled prize offers and a myriad of other such bonuses.

The advertising team at Carlsberg brewery has recently adopted a new game plan regarding their beer drinking promotions. In essence the advertisement is part of an overall gorilla campaign by the company to snare more of the beer drinking market. The ad was not filmed in an elaborate studio. The advertiser did not use actors but rather real people who were not clued into the Candid Camera style of realism used.

The overall atmosphere in the scene was meant to be intimidating. The seating arrangement in the theater was contrived and developed so that there are only two seats remaining in the crowded room.

As you watch the video ask yourself what would you do  if you found yourself in such a situation. Would you make your way to the available seat or would you wimp out and leave the theater in fear and dread.

This is the first in a series of such creative ads to not only promote a product but also to make the viewing public a bit more aware of their fears, phobias and prejudices.

All advertisers should exhibit a bit more creativity in their work and not always follow a boring pro forma approach to hawk their wares. Bravo Carlsberg!