Nibbled News

Four Cent Phone Bill Hilarious But True

"Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it. It is what the client or customer gets out of it."   -----    PETER DRUCKER

 

I used to think that  those humorous television commercials which jokingly insinuate that many telephone providers are actually money-hungry charlatans whose sole purpose in life is to extract as much money as is humanly possible from their long term, contract obligated customers were merely stretching the truth in an orchestrated manner. Now, however,  I tend to whole heartedly agree with their overall accusations.

I recently received a long distance telephone charge of four cents from my former service provider. The total length  of the call was rated as being one minute but that duration of time was enough to generate the charge. It was a call made on December 31 to a family member who was not at home at the time. Their answering machine had intercepted the call. 

I had signed up for a new service provider effective January  2012. The shabby service offered by my former telephone service did not warrant me to continue paying its exorbitant monthly rate. The company had also offered internet and televison service as well. I had been on a one year trail contract. The total package expired the last day of 2011.

In January I received what I thought was the final bill from the former provider and sent in my payment by the 15th of the month. This week I received a letter from the phone company informing me that I owed the grand total of four cents for services rendered. The letter indicated that if I chose to ignore paying the outstanding amount I would be charged a $25 administrative fee.

I was shocked that they would waste so much time, effort , paper and administrative effort to ferret out the four cent charge. I wondered how I was going to pay this charge: cash, cheque, credit card charge or visit my bank and have them process the amount.

A telephone call to my former service provider was not that enlightening. The female associate I spoke with explained to me the options by which I could settle this outstanding amount. She recommended that I settle the account by making a one time Visa payment over the phone at this time. This she suggested would be the easiest way to settle up. I thought easy for who me or the phone company.

I decided a few days later to go to the bank, have the charge taken from my account and settle the debt that way. The female bank teller was amused that this phone company would pursue such a triffling amount in such a costly and aggressive manner. 

The contract I had signed with the former service provider offered quality service at an affordable price. But the unreliable service forced me to contact their customer support staff once a month to correct faulty and flagging internet and television reception.

I had been with this telephone company for the past 25 years and had never had a late fee charged to my account. This past year has opened my eyes to the fact that even the high profile telephone service providers need to perform a bit of rethink and reevaluation of the way they service and retain customers.

TV Ads Overly Concerned About Body Hair

“There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.”
― Nora Ephron

 

 If you watch any amount of late night television you will eventually begin to notice that many advertisers are beginning to zero in on a major problem that is currently plaguing many, many people these days and apparently growing to pandemic proportions.

What is this threat that is affecting the lives of a great number of men and women these days? Namely,  the absence or the over abundance of body hair. Men and women are actually afraid that they have either too much or not enough of it in all sorts of places on their bodies.

Female viewers are constantly bombarded with a number of gadgets that are guaranteed to rid them of unsightly body hair from their arms, legs, faces and of course that most embarassing of all places the area immediately adjacent to their bikini tan line. 

Lotions, creams, high tech shavers and of course lasers are actively promoted daily to assure women that their concerns are being taken seriously by national advertisers. Informative infomercials employ the services of well known actresses who readily offer their own personal endorsements for the products reliability.

Many of these alleged panaceas even promise that unsightly leg hair and embarassing stubble will be gone forever with just  a few months faithful use of their laser enhanced system. The hair according to the advertisement will be effortlessly removed without the pain and suffering the competitor's hair removal system offers.

Men with thinning hair are also offered quick fixes which will make them look vibrant, sexy, dynamic and desirable. The actors in this commercial sport a full head of hair after supposedly using the restorative process for only thirty days.  They claim that their appearance and their overall confidence has been boosted. Attractive females rave about the new found confidence a full head of hair offers a man.

The commercial warns that this process is not for everyone. I suspect that men will readily shy away from a hair restorative system that requires that an acrylic product resembling human hair be surgically attached to their scalps. The cosmetic affect might be pleasing to the eye but can the invasion on a person's pain threshold and pocketbook justify the expense

A person viewing these "info"-mercials should realize that actors are supposedly portraying real people and events and what is viewed on the television tube is not always the gospel truth. We all want to look our best but we all should take a few minutes to realize that our personal assets are not dependent on an advertisers agenda.

 

 

 

 

 

Ever Try Reasoning With Your Dentist?

"You don't go mud wrestling with a pig because in the end you only wind up looking foolish and the pig tends to love the attention."  -- Anon.

Have you ever tried to engage in a somewhat intelligent and serious conversation with your dentist while you were sitting quietly  in his comfortably padded , genuine Corinthian leather oversized chair visibly trembling and waiting for the pain session to begin?

If you have ever tried this almost universal approach to personal anxiety reduction you would have immediately noticed that both the dentist and his well trained assistant have only one game plan in mind:  helping you through your current oral trauma no matter what it costs you or your ever vigilant insurance provider.

Last Thursday my friend Vic discovered that  a front crown on the upper right portion of his gum area had become extremely loose. He had difficulty eating solid food and the crown was rubbing against his gum causing him pain and overall irritation. The gum was extremely sensitive and required immediate attention.

 He tried to make an appointment with his regular dentist and hoped the visit would resolve his problem. He was told his dentist had the flu and was asked if any dentist would suffice. He answered yes any dentist would be alright.

On Tuesday he went for his appointment and discovered that the tooth had cracked and a part of it had broken away.  It would now need to be extracted crown and all. He did not plan on this happening since the last time a crown came loose the dentist was able to recement it successfully into place.

He was also told that it would be a good game plan to have his teeth cleaned and a few Xrays taken of his upper and lower gums to update his patient file information. He agreed to have these procedures done and luckily there was an appointment vacancy also available that very day.

The female hygienist performed her task in an efficient and friendly manner. She took extra care around the overly irritated and sensitive section of his upper gum. She finished the manual cleaning of his teeth, successfully scraped away the accumulated plaque deposits that had built up around his teeth and then offered him a fluoride rinse to complete the treatment.

He was then led to another dental office and told that the dentist would be with him shortly. A dental assistant entered the room a few minutes later and told him  she needed to take Xrays not only of the affected area but also his whole mouth. This was the dentist's orders. He complied.

When the Xrays were complete the dentist entered the room. He looked at the pictures and then  took his silver colored pliers and carefully removed the crown. He then relayed the bad news that the toothh had broken and the crown and post were useless. He would have to extract the remains of the tooth. The dentist then froze the area with a shot of novocaine and extracted the remains parts of the fragmented  tooth.

The dentist sat at a desk nearby and told Vic of the dental work he might require: permanent tooth implant ($3400); partial dental bridge to bolster gums chewing powers ($3300) ; and finally a back molar ($1100 for the root canal excluding the new crown.

Vic was shocked by this doctor's callous and unrealistic attitude towards his patient. This doctor and others in the building were all fixated on one thing: how much will your insurance carrier handle for you? He tried to explain to this money grubber that he was a retiree living on a fixed income. This made no impression on the doctor.

The next day Vic received a sympathetic telephone call from the dental office's billing secretary. A female associate tried to console him on the loss of his front tooth and asked him how he was handling the loss. He told her it was only a tooth and nothing more.  She assured him she understood his position and his desire to have the tooth replaced as quickly as possible.

The number of options she cited were far too expensive and unrealistic for a retired person lving on a fixed income. He said she was understanding of his financial situation but said she was going to forward a copy of the replacement cost of the tooth to his insurance company. The amount for the tooth alone was "$3800.

Vic said he was struck by the humor of it all. Surely, he reasoned, the materials used and the medical equipment involved did not warrant such  a high price tag. To him this was another example of how costly and unrealistic the cost of medical and dental charges and services have become.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sipping A Brewsky Helps It All Make Sense

Several months ago, a friend told me that when he was cleaning his garage he threw his back out. I told him it was probably over enthusiasm. Sometimes when you're cleaning you get carried away and throw out something you intended to keep."  --- George Carlin.

How many folks do you personally know who rush headlong through their daily routines without ever taking the time to reflect on their lives or the way in which the many absurdities of life actively impinge on their actions and overall happiness?

Few people ever schedule some personal quiet time in which they just sit, relax, listen to themselves think and appreciate the day for what it truly is: a unique opportunity to enjoy another day of existence in an ever changing, challenging yet ever evolving universe full of promise and hope.

Back in the day old men would sit on creaky wooden porches in their rockers and relax, philosophize and probably gripe about the hand life has dealt them. It was therapeutic in that they were able to let off some pent up steam. This was something that their fathers and their fathers fathers had probably done at the end of their own work day.

Marshall Dillon, the hero in the television series "Gun Smoke", knew the importance of taking things easy and relaxing at the end of his day. He visited the fictional Longbranch Saloon in Dodge City where he, Miss Kitty and Doc would sip  a brewsky and reflect on the day's activities.

When I was a university student I enjoyed a cold glass or two of beer to help not only commiserate about the day's activities but also to make some sense out of it all. The student pub was the place where one could easily relax, socialize and plan for the immediate or long range future.

Today beer sipping and quiet reflection have become a lost art. The possibility of becoming an alcoholic has been drummed into everyone's awareness. Beer manufacturers in their televised commercials seem to encourage foks to over indulge in their imbibing. When you're drunk as a skunk you can hardly stand up let alone think about the day's activities.

In these fast paced, uncertain times it is necessary to unwind, reflect and take life a bit easier. The pot bellied stove and the old fashioned general store have gone by the wayside. Quiet reflection and quiet time should not be compromised due to life's anxieties and demands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many Automobile Problems Just Happen

"WHILE I waited at a service station for my car to be tuned, a woman drove up in a clunker that rattled, wheezed and coughed to a stop in a cloud of smoke. She rolled down her window and asked the attendant if she could wait while it was being fixed. "Sure," replied the attendant. "It'll take awhile, but get your things. You can sleep over there under the oil racks."    --- Anon

====================

Sometimes a person's best friend is his automobile dealership's repair crew. These specially trained service technicians can make or break a customer's overall satisfaction with the vehicle they have purchased. They are at times a  company's first line of defence in ensuring customer product satisfaction.

 Highly calibrated diagnostic equipment can be used to zero in on a technical problem that is currently plaguing a car owner. Other times something as simple as inside product information can give this same harried owner a plan of attack when dealing with auto issues.

My neighbor Vic is a retiree and purchased a Chrysler Sebring a few years ago. This car has been the apple of his eye and for the past number of years he has serviced the car religiously according to the owner's manual. It is a line of mid size car that was sold by Chrysler from 1995 to 2010. It offers stylish good looks and is not a gas guzzler.

Recently, Vic's overall satisfaction with his car has been seriously tested. A cold snap in the weather has sent temperatures plummeting well below the freezing mark. This frigid change has caused his car to emit a snap-crackle-pop sound whenever he starts the engine The vehicle starts alright and there is no outpouring of dark smoke. Just the irritating sound.

He consulted his dealership mechanic about the problem and discovered that many Chrysler and Jeep products are experiencing this same noisy situation whenever the temperatures plunge beneath a certain level. Apparently the power steering fluid begins to congeal like jello due to the cold.  

Vic told me a number of the mechanics had considered recommending that customers experiencing this problem use General Motors power steering fluid as a replacement for their own. However they were not sure as to what the consequences might be on the overall performance of the vehicles. The fluid might damage the gaskets and other internal working parts  used in the Chrysler-Jeep products.

The weather has changed for the better and the temperatures have become a bit more moderate. Vic is now able to start his vehicle's engine without the accompanying noise. He doesn't mind the fact that he has to scrape ice off the windshield or brush away the snow. Its the unexpected winter complications that throw a monkey wrench into his daily routines that bother him.

 

Seven Percent Solution For Our World?

 

 

Prayer is co-operation with God. It is the purest exercise of the faculties God has given us - an exercise that links these faculties with the Maker to work out the intentions He had in mind in their creation.  ( E. Stanley Jones)

This is the time of the year when the winter blahs and blues seems to take its toll on many, many people. Feelings of depression slowly creep into a person's psyche. Many folks want to give up on the positive side of life and in its stead embrace a negative, hangdog pessimism.

The shorter days and the darker nights takes its toll on a person's mental health. There is a solution to this perennial problem. We are not doomed to suffer and flounder in a sea of doubt and pessimism.

The short video at the beginning of this blog offers a solution that many people fail to realize may be helping to shape thier lifes and destinies. It is an inspirational video clip. It tells all of us that we are not alone and that there is a benevolent , universal consciousness uniting us all.

Life is meant to be shared and the fruits and the joys in life may come to us through the efforts of others who care for us. Enjoy.

 

 

Safeway Lagging Behind On Product Quality

The traditional mom and pop grocery store has these days almost been  entirely replaced  by the mega markets promoting their bulk buying offers and huge discounts meant to entice and secure customer support and loyalty.

We trust that the modern day players in the burgeoning food industry will also adhere to the same standards of quality, freshness and safety that the local entrepreneurs subscribed to.

Sometimes this trust is naively placed into outlets that care more about profits then customer safety and satisfaction. Many times there are too many fingers in the operational pie to guarantee anything substantial for the consumer.

Last Thursday the 19th of the month  I visited my local Safeway outlet and purchased a package of extra lean ground turkey breasts. There was a two dollar deduction listed on the front of the prewrapped package.

The contents appeared to be pink and wholesome and I looked forward to enjoying it in a chili recipe to be served on the upcoming weekend. The freshness label indicated that the product was good until the 28th of the month.

Saturday evening I noticed that a clear liquid had somehow mysteriously formed and accumulated inside the package. I had not placed the carton in the freezer but on one of the fridge's inner shelves. This was a procedure I had done for years.

The package was opened gingerly and the excess mositure was drained away. The chicken did not smell tainted so it was placed on an electric fry pan. It slid easily out of the container. A few minutes after the heat was applied a white, odorless ooze began to appear around the fringes of the bulky slab of the ground chicken.

As the electric fry pan started to cook the meat more and more of the white goo encircled the meat. After a few minutes the fry pan was turned off and the chicken was thrown into the garbage bin. It seemed to be too risky an item to eat.

I suspect that the product had been previously frozen and thawed and then placed in the meat section for sale. I did not know how many times this had been done. A number of times in the past whenever I had bought the same product and frozen it at home for later use the same reaction had occurred in the fry pan but to a lesser degree.

There were no external markings on the outside of the plastic wrapped container warning a customer that the product had been previously frozen. The two dollar discount seemed to justify the fact that the product had been handled somewhat badly.

The product line, Eating Right, is not processed in the store. It is an item mass merchandised and handled by a national conglomerate. Somewhere along the line the product may have been frozen during transport and then placed on the shelf in the meat section for sale.

Chicken has traditionally been associated with salmonella. This alone should inspire large retailers like Safeway to place a higher emphasis on caution when selling this product for consumer use.

I wrote an email to the Safeway business ethics division detailing the problem I had with this product line. I tried contacting the local retailer via their customer complaint hotline but their site has been experiencing technical difficulties the entire weekend. Go figure.

 

 

  

Shoddy Tech Support Plagues Giantmatrix

 

Online software companies promise potential customers that their product is second to none and that their product 's technical support team will go out of its way to assist you should you experience problems with their products.

One company whose after sale technical support is sorely lacking is Giantmatrix (www.giantmatrix.com) whose product "Anti Tracks" offers consumers hours of software frustration, little or no product support and of course questionable marketing strategies.

In November of 2011 I purchased an  online version of Anti Tracks from Avangate the seller of the software. I received an email notification that once my order was confirmed I would receive the payment receipt and "detailed product licensing information" in separate emails.

The followup email I received informed me that I should register my product at the Avangate website (www.avangate.com) so that I would be able to view my order details, gain access to my online shopping history and "re-download licence keys/codes".

An email indicated the download site to obtain the program. No product codes were ever included with the emails. At the time I thought nothing of that fact and installed the program. That was my first major mistake.

The program loaded successfully and promised to protect my identity and personal information online. After I initiated the program two things happened which I did not expect:

1.  I was unable to access any website due to server failure.
2.  My computer crashed and I had to do a computer restore.

I had to perform a computer restore two more times after the initial software conflict. I had downloaded a copy of the program and placed it on a DVD for safekeeping. When I installed this copy the computer once again locked up. An onscreen error message informed me of an error occurring because a product cover page was missing.

I sent an email to the customer support team and told them my situation. I also told them that I had not received the licence keys or special codes in any email from them. I requested the product codes to unlock the product.

I received a short email telling me to go to another website and download another version of the program. No product codes were included at this time but the name of the program was listed a "Anti Tracks - complete version". I still do not know what that means.

Naively I followed their instruction, downloaded the program and hoped for the best. Again my web browsers were unable to access the Internet due to server errors. Two more times the program crashed my computer due to software complications.

I again contacted customer support and have  been waiting now for a reply for about two weeks. Apparently a customer has to purchase "download protection" from the company to avoid such frustrating situations. A reputable company should have to resort to this type of after sale customer extortion to ensure that their product will continue to function as promised.

 In the past week or so I wrote to the sales department at Avangate asking for a refund for the product. I also sent an email to Gianmatrix explaining my frustration with both their problem plagued product and shoddy technical support.

From this experience I have learned not to trust an online software company who requests that a customer purchase "download insurance portection" to guarantee them the right to have future downloads should their product fail to perform. 

This is definitely a situation of buyer beware. The best policy is to do your online research about those companies who toot their own product horns a little too briskly. 

Turning Viewers Into Entrenched Voyeurs

"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." ~ Rodney Dangerfield

It seems these days that even  the most  dramatic, respected  and creative  television shows  eventually flaunt and promote unbridled, carefree and unprotected sex as the answer to their series flagging viewer rating.

This usually happens after the third or fourth episode when the viewer numbers have been compiled and the networks and advertisers are eager to boost exposure and sales. Network managers are willing to take a chance on new dramatic content and more receptive to innovative writing.

The Nielsen viewer ratings have been successfully compiled by this time and a television home viewing market selected within which a show's writing team can become "creative" oftentime using gratuitous sex to overcome writing lapses and lulls between commercials.

Two such shows that pop into mind are "King"and "Suits". Both shows are presented on the Showcase network.The plots and the writing  are first rate. Initially the sexual nature of the show's characters was downplayed and the legal angle highlighted. On the premium channel a viewer content warning is flashed between commercial segments indicating "adult content view discretion is advised."

"King" is a tough female cop who has been divorced a number of times and likes her sex hot and heavy. She is nearing forty, wears tight skirts and is desperately trying to get pregnant. She is the head of a crime division in a large metropolitan city. At times she lets her biological clock run her common sense. This aspect may make her appealling to all those female viewers in her particular life situation.

"Suits"  main characters are Harvey Specter" and  "Mike Ross". For Harvey a romp in the hay is an accepted pro bono aspect of the job.  Recently Ross has also been priming the pump for female companionship.  Specter is a talented, conniving, no holds barred successful attorney possessing street smarts and an over active libido. Ross is his protege with a photographic memory whom he is tutoring in the law firm.

Eventually though the main characters in both shows abandon their higher callings and are eager to tear off their clothing, hop into bed with  any available and consenting member of the opposite sex.  This allows three to five minutes of air time to successfully transpire. This on-screen action is supposed to turn the viewing audience into consenting adult voyeurs.

The popularity of both shows has attracted the attention of the non premium channels. The channels do flash the viewer warning adult content notice at the start of the show. So an at home viewer expects some adult content not out-and-out orgy action. What does a parent do when their children are in the same room with them while they are watching the juicier segments?

In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, herpes, genital warts, AIDs and the like dramatic televison shows should offer the viewing public richer content and more thought provoking themes and try not to merely pander the easily gratuitous side of life .

If this is an impossible task then at least have the main characters enage in protected sex before they dazzle the viewer with their bedroom prowess.

 

Invent A Patch To Save Some Marriages

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

This is an impassioned plea trying  to keep lawyers and divorce court costs out of the bedrooms and bank accounts of America.

Many marital conflicts are at times the result of conflicting emotional feelings and sentiments of confused and disgruntled couples and as such do not come under the direct purview of the judicial system. 

The time has finally arrived  for an enlightened populace to allow the  creative scientific community the opportunity to process and perfect a hormonal patch that disputing married couples can jointly use to save themselves from divorce and get their marriage back on track.

Scientific inventiveness , genius and creativity over innumerable decades has consistenly attempted to help man enjoy a carefree and productive lifestyle. The problems of female infertility, male erectile dysfunction, persistent indigestion and occasional bouts of embarassing flatulence have all been successfully handled.

If the problems listed above are hormone related then who is to say that emotional situations and tensions that eventually do arise between the most loving , compatible and closest of couples could not benefit from such a quick and inexpensive fix.

I appreciate the fact that many talented and well-known divorce court attorneys make their six figure salaries helping grieving spouses rectify an intolerable marital situation. Their efforts to comfort their clients is well documented and costly at the best of times.

The disputing couple would now make an appointment with a marriage counsellor who would take a proactive approach and recommend not only couple's therapy but also the marriage patch in the hopes of not only rectifying their current marital strife but also stave off the possibility of enlisting the services of a good family lawyer.

Members of the legal association, fearing loss of a substantial amount of income, would probably launch state by state class action lawsuits aimed at determing  the legality and the overall safety aspects of using the patch. Many lawyers do tend to get overly emotional and protective when their  lifestyles are threatened.

Human beings are ever changing vessels of emotions, sentiments and feelings. A patch designed to specifically help regulate or temporarily modify a couple's conflicting emotional levels would be a lot less costly and more effective than filing for a divorce and upsetting a couple's lifestyle and financial situation .

Jurisprudence can only go so far in affecting the way members of a society relate to one another as far as the law is concerned. Perhaps it's time that science lends a helping hand to couples trying to cope with the pressures and strifes of modern life.